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3 Steps to Becoming More Confident

On the other side of fear is confidence 

Over the course of the past few months, I uncovered a passion, identified a business opportunity, and mustered up the courage to go after it and get it off the ground. This all stemmed from and was made possible thanks to one key factor: Confidence.   

I think it’s safe to say that we all struggle to feel confident from time to time, even when it’s needed the most – like during the launch of a new business, or the start of an exciting new chapter of life. Learning how other people exude such confidence can be just the push you need on your journey. There’s a ton of content out there on the importance of confidence, but this person nails it.

Brittany Packnett is an activist and co-host of the podcast Pod Save The People. She is a remarkable leader who is “completely obsessed with confidence.” If you have a few minutes, watch her on stage at the TED Radio Hour here. Or if podcasts are more your thing, listen to this “How to Be Better” podcast featuring Brittany.

Brittany describes confidence as “The necessary spark before everything that follows. The difference between being inspired and actually getting started. Between trying and doing until it is done. Confidence helps us keep going even when we have failed. ” 

Where are you in your own journey towards confidence?

So, what are the prerequisites for confidence?  According to Brittany, it takes at least three things: “Permission, curiosity, and community. Permission births confidence, curiosity nurtures it, and community affirms it.” Here’s my take on what Brittany considers the three prerequisites for confidence. 

1. Permission

In order to be confident, you must give yourself permission to take stock of the assets and worth you have within you. Beware of the “imposter syndrome”— the feeling of self-doubt or that you somehow don’t belong or are not qualified to be in a certain role, place, or situation. To combat the imposter syndrome, you must be your own best advocate. You must be your own coach. It’s not easy, but it’s essential.

If and when imposter syndrome rears its ugly head, decide to choose again. We are all susceptible to self-doubt and negative self-talk. But, we all also possess the ability to “flip the flop” as my 7-year-old daughter says, and make the choice to choose again and engage in positive self-talk. 

2. Curiosity

If you are looking for a place to begin building confidence in your life, start by being more curious about yourself and the world around you.

What lights you up? What gets you out of bed in the morning or makes it difficult for you to fall asleep at night? What questions do you have about the world and about the people around you? What change would you most like to see in the world?

These are all good indicators of an underlying passion and strong belief system.

We must get curious about what we care about in order to live confident, fulfilling lives. It’s easy to get caught up in the motions day by day, it’s courageous to take a step back and truly ask yourself what matters and why. The courageous act curiosity is a breeding ground for lasting confidence. 

3. Community

Always remind yourself that you have expertise. You might not have the same expertise as your best friend or the stranger on the internet, but you are very good at something, I can promise you that.

When it gets tough to remember what your good at (as it always does) — that’s where community comes in. Seek out resources or trusted friends or loved ones who know you best and can bring you back to yourself. People who have your best interest in mind and can remind you of your strengths and expertise. My wife is this resource for me, and– wow–do I need it. I am so grateful. 

I will leave you with Brittany’s call to action for confidence: 

Counteract fear with a different conversation with yourself. Break it down. Challenge it. You are in control of how you talk with, about, and to yourself. 

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